A late night thought.

I met him when I was six. They ran and played together. I sat alone and wrote in my diary. I wrote books that I could never finish. I’d illustrate the cover, and give it a title. I’d number all the pages and make sure the book was sturdy before ever giving thought to the words needed. I’d save the story for last. Too often I would write a story and leave out the middle and end.

“Don’t worry little book,” I’d say, “I’ll finish you someday.”

But I never did. I never did finish that little book about my dog and my cat. I started several new ones, never to have an end. I met him as a child, we left him soon after, but he remained a reminder of a pleasant time in my life. Seeing him much later, threw me back into the days that my family was whole and happy. It was a warm, sad feeling. My mind loves to wonder and wander and write my life away. What I write is true.

The image of a lonely child climbing up a tree. She sits upon it content, because she is free.  She waits for her savior to bring her home, and take away the feeling of being left alone.

Processing Negatives

All the good and all the smiles

could never show me honesty. 

Your waves goodbye and hugs hello 

Are not enough to comfort me. 

 

I was thinking today. What is special about a blog? There are too many blogs, there must be one for everything. Then it crashed into me. They are thoughts. All unique to their writer. I feel everyone should have a place to log their thoughts. Whether it is written well or not does not matter. People are fascinating and here we have a window into their souls. Even if it is some small passion they are sharing, it is passion. The people reaching out online for whatever reasons are simply sharing their lives with the world. I adore them for it. There are probably a million blogs on blogging and thoughts, but this one is mine. It’s short, but it’s been put together by a string of words my mind has chosen which makes it something special. :)

 

 

 

If God was on my side.

I’m listening to Wasteland by NEEDTOBREATHE.

 

Certain voices, songs will just throw me into that mood. You know the mood that throws you into a blizzard of words, of thoughts. To ignore it should be a crime, is a crime. I think we are called to create in different ways. I think I’ll paint. I’m no good at it, but it seems to help the soul smile. I can hear my dog chewing her large nylabone. A simple life she has where chewing a toy could bring her joy. Isn’t that something? To be simple…

One more…

I’m digging through I few poems I logged away. Here’s one more for today:

I am alone with my thoughts.

I blink, 

and there is the image of pastures wide and fenced, where my animals can play

I blink, 

and I see my home, and a long lost soul standing beside me, watching life glow

I blink for a moment and see comfort,

But the moment is always fleeing.

It runs from my reach and in its place – 

Is the ceiling fan…

The grass is gone, my pets have vanished, and I’ve no one to call my soul mate.

Sometimes I blink and in that short moment 

Live a fuller life. 

Today Is The Day

My mind runs and runs on thoughts. It never stops. Sometimes I sit back and think, If only I had somewhere to log all my thoughts… Haha!

 

Oh but, Elizabeth, you do have somewhere!

 

So here it is: a poem I did not want to share, I will share for you, internet. Then, later, I’ll share another. I want my blog to be as active as this silly mind of mine.

 

What can you do for me?

when waves wash over my

still body?

Will you rescue me

or leave my soul to dry?

 

When the fire burns close,

Will you cover me

or let my body burn to ash?

 

Will you roar and play

to see me smile?

Can you promise me to smile often

and laugh at all the silly jokes?

 

Will you hold on tight

and be my change?

 

Will I be left to wonder

for too long, if you’re

just another cloud?

Another puff of smoke

leaving this great long train

 

Or do you see in me what I saw in you?

 

Will you see that your eyes are too intense to ignore

Your passion too rare a treasure to pass

Your smile so sweet it causes my heart to ache

And your love,

Your love shines and echoes for our creator to see.

I hope you were made for me!

 

Please do not disappoint me, if you must go,

Go happily and never lack the passion I saw

Never stop inspiring

Never stop smiling

Never stop your intense stare, please never let your

excitement burn out.

 

 

To think a stranger could leave such a mark…

Love with purpose – my strange, unique muse.

To God I Give My Soul

I had forgotten about what I used for this blog site, until I looked up and actually read my url. I like it. This is the first time I have been reminded, in a long time, about how I felt about this life. 

I’ve always viewed this life as temporary. I tried to live it the way I wanted, far from pressure, stress, or anxiety, but it isn’t so easy, is it? I try to think on times when I spoke to others about my faith, about the eternal life; life after death. I can only remember a few times. There was my friend in the fifth grade who inquired about it. I tried to explain as best I could, and I think I was able to vaporize a few misconceptions she had about my beliefs. 

There was that Jehovah’s witness outside of the starbucks, when I was a senior in high school. The guy my mom knew when I was a junior in high school. I’ve responded to several people online at two different forums. My sister’s old friend. My cousins. My brother, his girlfriend. Just people who have asked, and I responded. I don’t know any time that I ever initiated a conversation about life and my specific belief, other than to two internet friends. 

I often look back to days when I feel I could have spoken up. A biology teacher making a sweeping and incorrect statement about evolution and all the students scribbling down his nonsense… Why didn’t I say something then? 

It’s dark outside, but it’s still early. This is my favorite type of weather. There’s a breeze gently shaking the leaves and the clouds are hanging low, as if they are reaching for me. I have always loved this dark, cold weather. It’s beautiful. 

I’ll try today to tell someone that Jesus loves them. He died for you and He loves you unconditionally.